Cooking Makes Me Cry

Mmm uncooked dough with hard, burnt cheese.
Credits to Jason Radka.

I am the self-proclaimed World’s Worst Cook (and dancer, but that's another therapy session on it's own). I don’t know how to cook, I have never wanted to know, and few have begged to try my dishes. 

Once, for a Christmas party, I managed to make a boxed Betty Crocker chocolate chip cake look like skin grafts, as most at the event described. I attempted to make homemade pizza as recent as two weeks ago, thinking that spreading dough and topping it with sauce and cheese would be a cinch. I was even pompous enough to assume that I might be able to twirl it in the air with elegance. I ended up plastering myself to the counters and dialing Dominos. If you are still not clear on my atrocious cooking skills, please contact me for more details.

 I watched this video in preparation of my pizza-making adventure. 

Cookie Monster would might go vegan after trying my cookies.

For these reasons, I have never tried to master a particular dish. The irony is that I was born to a fantastic chef, who attempted to pass on her passions for cooking to me. It hasn’t worked. Do I love to eat? Absolutely, it’s my most coveted pastime, but the thought of organizing and coordinating ingredients, temperatures, pots, pans, and (eek!) knives overwhelms me. Sometimes, putting together the main components of a sandwich disturbs my peaceful aura. Mayonnaise AND mustard? This is just too much.

So here I am, proposing the idea of a cooking blog, for people who don’t know how to cook. As a beginner chef, I would like to one day posses the ability to actually feed a human. Hence, I’m boycotting cereal with the utmost of courage.